Speaker of the House

Three Californian surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in California. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost several fingers in an accident; I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident; I reattached them, and two years later he won a gold medal in track and field events at the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's Speaker of the House."

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birds and the bees

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears.. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really shag, I'll have nothing left to live for.'

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RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the
economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put
workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme
will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).


Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible
for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).


Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the
SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be
RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government
deems appropriate.



Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not
be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government..


Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government
has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should
you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the
attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the
SHIT you can handle.

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HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

You have to try this, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe it either! It is from an orthopaedic surgeon............ This will confuse your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It is pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Ok What happened?







Your foot will change direction.

I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Send it to your friends to frustrate them too.

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Have a happy Memorial Day but remember the cost of freedom.

Memorial Day Weekend Competition: Define your “America” due to my cutbacks the winner will receive a congressman's speach on CD or 2 bails of hay and a bag of horse shit of equal value.

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Enjoy your freedom

Moving ON

I find it fruitless to blog about the corruption of our elected leaders, fault lies with us the people for condoning it. Some where in our future lies a J. Edgar Hoover or Martin Luther King but that type leadership does not exist in America today. I hope that we produce such a leader in the near future.
I am trying to cram as much of America in me, as I can, while I can. She is such a beautiful place. I have no desire to leave her. She has always given me all I need and more. I have never asked Her for anything. She has given me peace, opportunity, protection, freedom and up till now a government that only saw that the constitution was preserved. However it seems to me that the Constitution is being stripped article by article and only a shell of that precious document remains. The important things like God, guns, speech and choice are only words without meaning.
Men once brought courage to the bargaining table now it seems like pleas for handouts are the form of discussion.
“We the people” is quietly but effectively being replaced by words like, These United States do hereby bequeath to it's citizens.
I invite you to join The Molly Chronicles as we visit our land, its heritage and watch Her future unfold.
I know this God fearing bred nation will produce a leader of the people capable of inventing an attitude adjustment for this political correctness posture American have grown accustom to.
If no one ever pays attention to you on Twitter, you will react. The same is true with our Government. Americans cannot stand to be ignored.
I see the need for a peaceful leadership for the people, one who can motivated our government. I can motivate our government with fear, but that requires volunteer manpower organized, armed with guns, knifes, ax handles, pitchforks and therein lies my problem most Americans don't even know what these tools are used for.

I will be your leader

Comment | Copy This

Will the 12 thousand people that typed comments meet me in DC. Americans have become tongue waggers. I am a 68 year old doer from the 60's. Where are my hippi people from Wood Stock. Us meet in DC this time! Where and When is all I need to know.
I am recruting
1. Af&AM
2. NAACP
3. KKK
4. AARP
5. NRA
6. All Churches
7. All Unions
8. CEO's
9. All Employees and Unemployes
10. Home owners, renters, homeless, panhandlers, people who give their opinions freely but are to cowardly to stand up for freedom and wave our flag. I will lead you.
11. [SHOUTING] MOST OF ALL SOMEONE WITH THE MONEY AND RESORCES TO SUPPORT ME IN MY EFFORT TO LEAD US AMERICAN PEOPLE TO THE HALLS OF CONGRESS FOR THE PURPOSE OF FIRMLY LETTING THEM KNOW WHO THEY WORK FOR AND WHAT THEIR JOB WILL BE IN THE FUTURE.
billyecole@gmail.com

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Buddy, You don't tow my car away.

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Can I help you?

I am not an expert at everything. But do you need help with things like....
1. Formatting a picture. Things like sizing a picture for twitter that doesn't have the top of your head cut off. Or how to size a background pict. Talking pictures simple things like that. Jpg, gif, pnp, ect I am pretty good with pictures.
2. Recording sound. Voice, music Midi, wav, mp3, Can you not get it to load right, maybe I can help you.
3. Graphics, banners, 3D, buttons, heading, bullets, dividers, I know a little about those task also.
4. Videos, sometimes you just can't get a video to act right, instead of buying expensive software to convert all those different formats. I have purchased a lot of software for these conversions. Maybe I can help you.
5. Tell me a problem you're having and us see if I can help.
6. Do you have problems with passwords (100's of them) there is a simple solution to this. Create one ID and you just need 3 maybe 4 passwords. That will work on any website.
7. Create folder on your desktop, documents, pictures and organize them.
8. Simple ways to use email.

Simple things like the above can cost you a lot of money if you get someone to do it for you, but I just like to help people and I like to do it for free. Things for private non profit making projects is what I am talking about.

It doesn't cost anything to ask me for help.

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I have the tools to do just about anything on the web, so if you need help with complicated things then there is a charge for that service

Happy Mothers Day

Bonnie 1913-2008
Happy Mothers Day!
It was the happiest day of my life when his Mother gave birth to my only son. She and I divorced many years ago and now even though our son is in mid life. She is still the Mother of my child.
All Mothers are a true blessing from God and nothing can change a Mother's Love. We all have Mothers and I miss mine so much on this day.
Please take a few seconds or many minutes and reflect on your Mother, all are welcome to comment on this precious day. I miss you Mama!
Say Hello to Jesus...Billy E.

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Print more money.

For our Congresspeople and other Gov officials to consider!!! In my opinion our Gov should buy 3019 new money printing presses from China and hire 157,384,006 Mexicans (with full senatorial benefits)to run it. These presses should be set up in Cuba. That way the money can be easily dispursed to other foreign countries. Now just you watch this happen.
Billy E

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Live a long time.

Want to live as long as I have then take my Doctors advice
http://www.ourbiz.us/PDF%20files/Doctor.pdf

Join - Support the NRA

Mollies 10 Comandments

Comment | Copy This

Mollys TEN COMMANDMENTS.........

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me..

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.


8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.


9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.


10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

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My Hands

My Hands

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Israel

I knew Israel was a strong country but this surprised me.

Animals Lovers

Hi, all you animal lovers!

This is pretty simple... Please tell ten friends to each tell a further ten today!


The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box 'fund food for animals for free'. This doesn't cost you a thing.

Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know.

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/


AGAIN, PLEASE TELL 10 FRIENDS!